" Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is going to come from, the next smile. The next wish come true. But if you believe that it is right around the corner. And you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it. To the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart."
I have been doing a lot of contemplating over the course of the past couple of months. Just mostly trying to figure things out and think about what I most want out of life. I've come to the scary realization, that life is what you make it and a lot of us live our lives in fear. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to live my life and live it fully. Achieving the dreams I have in my heart.
So, what am I doing about it? Well, I've taken the GRE and I did quite well :D Yay for me. Now, I can begin the long process of applying to graduate school...AGAIN. Yes, I was in school, when my life seemed to fall apart around me. But guess, what? My life really wasn't falling apart, but falling together. See, I've come to realize that in life, there are no accidents. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, happens for a reason. I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I have faith that I am a part of this game we call life for a specific purpose and my life has been designed for me. We can look at the things that have happened in our lives as stumbling blocks or stepping stones and I choose to see all that I've been through as a giant stepping stone for something better. I have been living in fear for too long. Putting school off and just going through the motions. It's time to make this dream a reality.
Something else I've learned, I want to love again. When you are suddenly single and it comes out of nowhere, it is quite easy to believe that you're not worth it. Well, guess what? I am worth it and just because my ex didn't see me as something wonderful, and someone worth fighting for, doesn't mean that I'm not someone worth loving. I think in the course of the past 3 years or so I've been very successful at pushing people away and using my past as an excuse for people to not be with me. Well, guess what? I'm better than that now. I believe all that I did when my life was "falling together," makes me that much more loveable. I took the situation of my heart attack and stood up for women with heart disease everywhere and in my humble opinion, that makes me kinda a big deal ;)
The bottom line? Life is worth living. Dreams are worth chasing. Anything you want can be yours if you believe and work your tail off :D And I belief I have much more yet to accomplish! I'm here to live my life!
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