So this past week has been most interesting for me. It was the first year anniversary of my sister's untimely passing. I had a difficult time, but was surrounded by friends who helped me to smile and laugh. A group of friends met at the Olive Garden (one of my sister's favorite eating establishments) and I had a great dinner with amazing friends :) It was so thoughtful and kind of them to be willing to help me celebrate my sister's life.
Someof my friends also gave me a list of song's to listen to, to help me get through the day. One of the songs is called "Homesick" by Mercy Me. Part of the lyrics go something like this:
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
'Cause I'm still here so far away from home
I have been thinking of these lyrics and the measure and value of faith for the past couple of days. I guess if you are Christian, you are expected to have a blind sort of faith, to not really question why things happen, but to know that they have their purpose. I have not always believed this, but when I share all that has happened in my life the past 3 years, I realize that maybe I got so sick and lost everything that was important to me at the time, so that I would be better prepared to deal/cope with losing my sister. It has been quite difficult to deal with her passing, I miss her more than I could have possibly ever imagined. However, like the lyrics of the song say, even if I knew why she had to pass, it wouldn't ease the pain one bit. I would still long to hear her voice on the phone, to see her dancing the way she always did. So, I guess, I just have to trust in my Heavenly Father that everything has it's purpose. I still sometimes wonder why I had to go through so much and why my sister had to be taken so tragically leaving behind two small children. But I know without a doubt that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me. And I guess that is all I really need to know.
I am so thankful for such loving friends who through their actions show me unconditional love and who are there for me on the tough days.
You are such an inspiration. After all you have been through God truly has a purpose for your life. We never really know why He does the things He does. I have always been told we never question God. God knows we aren't perfect and its human to question why. I'm sorry you have had to experience the loss of a sibling. I can not fathom the pain. I am sure your heart attack has made you a better person (if thats possible ;)). I'm sure its made you healthier and hey maybe that was how he got your attention with getting rid of your extra baggage ( your exhusband). I just know that He has a purpose for you and thank you for inspiring me and so many others. Love you girl, Laurel
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Laurel. I can't tell you how much your kind words mean to me :) You are such a strong girl too, and I know you've been through your share of difficult times. I love you to the moon and back and am so appreciative of all your kind words :)
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